Intuitive Eating Review - Conclusion

Ten years ago, my cholesterol level finally hit a threshold that my doctor could refer me to a specialist for help with my eating issues. First stop, a nutritionist. The nutritionist agrees that I need more help than she can offer, so we review a list of clinics, therapists and doctors specializing in eating disorders. Some of the places have year-long waiting lists. I cannot wait this long for help. So I call a therapist that runs a group therapy program in Toronto; we meet and discuss my eating history. This was when I first learned of the intuitive eating movement.

After a few individual sessions, I joined an open-ended psychotherapy group. I hate to admit it, but I don’t remember much about the content or format of the group therapy sessions. I think we kicked off each session discussing how our eating went following the intuitive eating rules. Later on, we talked about our emotions, situations, food and eating; attempting to pin-point the reasons for our individual issues. Sometimes we had an activity; something to bolster your self-image. We closed the session with some sort of feel-good ritual.

Looking back, there were two main problems with group (from my perspective) therapy:

1) Despite being a part of this group for at least six months, I didn’t completely understand the intuitive eating rules, specifically, eat what your body wants. You would think that after participating in a group for this length of time, I would know that your body wants healthy foods, and it’s your mind that wants junk food. I also had trouble determining my specific hunger queues. After six months of weekly sessions, I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect that I would fully understand and capable of executing the intuitive eating rules without a thought.

2) Participation in this group did not bring me any closer to discover the reasons why I was a compulsive and binge eater. I had no answers. I assumed that I was eating for some sort of unresolved traumatic event or relationship. With no answers for my behaviour, I easily slipped out of the intuitive eating mindset shortly after leaving the group.

In cognitive behavior therapy, I discovered that my overeating and binge eating behaviors are reactions to dieting rules, or what I perceive as a dieting rule. So, a big reason why intuitive eating did not work for me is that there are seven rules to follow and rebel against.

Eat only when you are hungry? I’ll eat whenever I want.

Eat what your body wants? Forget about eating healthy, I’ll eat junk food.

Eat without distractions? I’ll eat in front of the TV if I want to.

Eat until satisfied? I’ll eat one or two mouthfuls more than satisfied just because.

Eat with enjoyment? I’m too busy watching TV and chomping down multiple servings of ice cream to enjoy it.

Eat sitting down in a calm environment? Well, I’ll eat my McChicken combo in the car if I want to.

Eat in full view of others? I’ll eat healthy food in front of others, but if I want to pig out, I’ll hide my box of Oreos in my desk.

Again, it’s the all-or-nothing, diet mentality. I had to follow completely or there was no point in trying at all.

Now I know that I overeat and binge to rebel against years/decades of dieting. As a result, I’ve had to alter my ideas on weight loss. I had to come up with my own set of guidelines. And looking back on it, funny enough, I think I may have actually become an intuitive eater by accident.

I eat when I’m hungry (mostly). I now recognize the more subtle signs of hunger (inability to focus, thoughts drift to food) and I am prepared with a healthy snack.

I eat until I’m satisfied. Somehow, through the CBT process, I don’t seem to mentally need food as much anymore. This is a result of telling myself that I can have it if I really want it.

I eat what my body wants (mostly). I’m choosing to eat lots of vegetables and fruit. I look forward to eating healthier meal options. Now that I’ve convinced myself that I can eat anything that I want, it took the magic away from “bad” fat and sugary foods. If I have a “bad” food every once in a while, I don’t worry about it and move on.

As for the other rules (eat with enjoyment, eat sitting down in a calm environment, eat without distraction and eat in full view of others) I would say that I now do those things naturally. I enjoy my food more now since I’m no longer in a frenzy to get to the next mouthful. I will eat a baggie of goldfish in the car, but the need for binge eating has decreased dramatically, so I no longer feel the need to binge in the car. Now that I have children, we seldom have the TV on at mealtimes, but I also don’t worry about it if I have a snack while watching the Bachelorette. It’s relaxing, I enjoy my snack; but it’s not mindless either. And lastly, now that the need for bingeing has decreased, I don’t feel the need to eat in secrecy.

So, there you have it. I did not fully understand all the rules and the group therapy did not help me get any answers as to why I overate and binged on food.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.

Quick Links
Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment
Rule 3: Eat what your body wants
Rule 4: Eat in until you are satisfied
Rule 5: Eat in full view of others
Rule 6 & 7: Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure; eat without distractions

Intuitive Eating Review - Eat with enjoyment but without distractions

Rule 6: Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure & Rule 7: Eat without distractions

It’s lunchtime. I’m working on a big project at work. We’re implementing a new online loan application. My day is spent testing, reporting, responding to emails and figuring out how each element should work. The days are long due to the time crunch; there is a hard deadline with lots to do. There is no time to think of anything else.

I power through lunch at my desk. Apparently I’ve eaten a container of pasta, a baggie of baby carrots with hummus and a handful of animal crackers. I should be satisfied. I shouldn’t be hungry, but I am. Oh well, I guess I didn’t bring enough food today, better go down stairs to get something to fill me up. I should buy some fruit. I don’t; I buy three cookies from Timmies. Hopefully three cookies will be enough to satisfy me...

I'm discussing rule 6 (eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure) & 7 (eat without distractions) together as they go hand-in-hand to help you to become a mindful, conscious eater.

How many people can say that they truly enjoy every morsel of food they put in their mouth? I can consume so many calories without a thought. I’ve eaten multiple handfuls of Oreos, bags of Reese’ Peanut Butter cup miniatures, large bags of movie popcorn, my lunch, my breakfast and dinner without really thinking about it; enjoy eating it; or savoring it; or even tasting it.

My pleasure of food seems to come only when taking in large quantities. It’s like there is a strong need to get to the next piece of food as quickly as possible. I’m getting better, taking my time, slowing down and enjoying the taste of food. And you know what happens when I slow down and actually taste food? I eat less.

Eating without distraction means no radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music, and although it’s not listed, I would assume this also means no internet. For most people, I think the biggest distraction while eating is television. I’ve eaten countless meals in front of the television, both as a single gal, and a married gal. Before we got married, hubbie and I decided to eat dinner at the table. Now that we have children, we eat all meals at the table. On the other hand, with snacks, I’m not quite as consistent. Especially at night; I’m always watching TV if I have an after-dinner snack.

I’d say that for the most part, I eat without distractions. I do need to work on eating with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure, which is easier to follow when I’m less distracted. But, it is just another rule to follow and worry about when eating. It should be simple to follow, but mindless eating (as opposed to mindful) is a hard habit to break. And sometimes it is just hard to eat with gusto while munching on celery sticks and zucchini spears.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.


Quick Links

Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment
Rule 3: Eat what your body wants
Rule 4: Eat in until you are satisfied
Rule 5: Eat in full view of others

Next posting - conclusion on why intuitive eating did not work for me!

Intuitive Eating Review - Eat in full view of others

Rule 5: eat in full view of others

The complete rule is eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others. This doesn’t mean that you require an audience to eat, it just means that if you decide to eat chocolate for breakfast, you won’t hide said choice if your husband/mother/child walks in the room.

When I was participating in the intuitive eating group therapy sessions in 2001/2001, I was living at my parent’s house after graduating from school. One morning I decided that my body really needed to eat chocolate eggs for breakfast. So armed with the intention of eating with full view of others, I ate a handful of the Easter treats in front of my Mom and Dad. I can tell you that my Mom was not impressed by what I was learning in group therapy; I can still picture the WTF look on her face.

After I left the intuitive eating group, I made an effort to follow the spirit of this rule. I was more successful at home than at work. My hubby was understanding; I knew that he would not say anything to add to the guilt and shame I already felt after eating a bag of Oreos in a day. Work was a different story. Routinely, I ate a package of chocolate wafers, or a bag of Oreos or Reese peanut butter cups on the sly. There was no way I was willing to come out of the food cupboard to announce, hey – I’m bingeing, look at all the crap I can consume in an hour.

I’ve been on the receiving end of some embarrassing comments throughout the years and there was no way I was going to open myself up to more. A university friend gave me a loaf of her Mom’s Italian Easter bread (sweet, braided with an egg in it) and went on and on about how I ate it in two days, “OMG I can’t believe you ate all of it already!!!”

Of course, if I had been eating the healthy food that my body wanted, eating only when hungry and until I was satisfied, I would naturally have no problem with the eat in full view of others. Nonetheless, I was proud of the fact that I was able to be myself at home, which helped alleviate the tension and anxiety with food. I believe that hubby’s support and openness made me feel comfortable to seek the help of a cognitive therapist.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.

Quick Links

Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment
Rule 3: Eat what your body wants
Rule 4: Eat in until you are satisfied


Note: tomorrow I’m off to the Rock to visit my MIL and FIL. They live in a scenic town called Norris Point, which is located in Gros Morne National Park in Newfoundland and Labrador. I’ll also be visiting L’Anse aux Meadows where the Vikings first landed in North America. Therefore, the intuitive eating review will continue on when I am back from my vacation.

Check back here for Newfoundland temptations, traditional Newfie foods prepared on the island. And let me tell you, fresh vegetables are scarce in this land of salt water, salt fish, tuckamore and rock.

Intuitive Eating Review - Eat until you are satisfied

Rule 4: Eat until you are satisfied

I’ve done it; many times. And not just at Christmas. Perhaps you have too.

I’m full. But there is more food on my plate. Hubby's roasted potatoes taste so good. I’m no longer hungry, but I just want more of hubby’s perfectly-seasoned roasted potato taste. I finish everything on my plate. Sometimes that includes food that I don’t really like but I eat out of obligation (children starving / wasting food is bad / wanting to be polite). It’s Friday; ice cream night. I’m way too full, but I want ice cream. I can’t say no. I don’t want to say no. MMMmmm ice cream. Oh no, I feel sick. I ate way too much.

Intuitive eating is saying no to a traditional, structured diet. Eat until you are satisfied is a guideline to help you know when to stop eating without calorie-counting or points-tracking. Again, you use the hunger scale to tell you when to stop eating. More specifically, you stop eating when you are comfortable and satisfied. So, if there is food left on your plate, leave it (and don’t feel bad about it).

I found it much easier to figure out when to stop eating than to start eating. However, it’s still a tough one to follow. My mind begging for junk is louder than the subtle whisper of my body hoping for healthy food. How do I say no when my mind takes over? Will I trust myself to stop when I'm comfortable and satisfied?

Sometimes. Of course, if I follow all the rules (especially eat when you are hungry and eat what your body wants) stop eating when satisfied is an easier choice to make. Of course, if I wait too long to eat; choose food to satisfy my mind over body and eat granola, ice cream and mini-cupcakes, it is difficult to stop, no matter what my body is trying to tell me.

Most of the time, it's an easy rule to follow. But, when I wasn't following the other rules I felt helpless against episodes of overeating or all-out binges. Simply following a rule and tell myself to stop eating when satisfied was not enough. I needed to follow all the rules. This is another reason why intuitive eating did not work for me.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.


Quick Links
Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment
Rule 3: Eat what your body wants


Next posting Rule 5 - eat in full view of others

Intuitive Eating Review - Eat what your body wants

Rule 3: Eat what your body wants

In my opinion, eat what your body wants is the heart of intuitive eating. No food is off limits, no food is forbidden, no food is bad. The idea is that if you listen to your body and your body will tell you what it needs to eat. However, your body doesn’t want junk food; it wants healthy food to work properly, efficiently and to provide energy.

Again, Geneen explains it best when answering a question from Janet:

As you are discovering, your mind likes chocolate! But that doesn't mean eating chocolate when you are hungry feels good in your body. And there's the real distinction: Your mind will go on and on all day long about what delicious, fabulous-tasting thing it would like next, but your body wants to feel good. Your body wants to have energy. Your body wants to feel awake and alive and able to do what it needs to do to provide you with what you need to do what you love. So, next time your mind says, "Gimme pasta and chocolate," say, "Uh-huh, I hear you, mind. I hear that if it weren't for this teeny thing called a body, we could eat chocolate all day long. So, thanks for sharing. Now I am going to ask my body what it wants." And then, Janet, ask your body what would give it the most energy. Ask your body what would feel good in it. Not what would be the most exciting thing to eat. Not what would thrill you, but what would sustain you, awaken you, make you feel satisfied and well-nourished. See what happens.

I’m Janet. Ok, I’m not Janet, but I’m like Janet. After waiting for hunger signals and body queues, I told myself I required chocolate for lunch, even for breakfast. Sometimes it came to me very clearly, like an out-of-the-blue overwhelming need for a glass of milk. But, most times, I kept waiting for an answer, but nothing came.

The other purpose of this rule is to address deprivation. If your body is telling you to eat something (even if it is unhealthy) just have it. The dieting mentality tells you that chocolate milk is bad for you; drink skim milk instead. So, you drink skim milk. But you still want chocolate milk. So you eat a chocolate chip cookie. Hmmm, this tastes good. You eat another few chocolate chip cookies. You know what goes well with chocolate chip cookies? Chocolate milk. You finally drink the chocolate milk. You can see why you would have been better off drinking the chocolate milk in the first place.

My problem with rule 3, is the same issue with rule 1; it’s difficult to know what your body wants and make it practical for everyday use. Christie Inge, HHC, an intuitive eating counselor, suggested to eat every three to four hours to recognize the hunger signals (in reference to my post on eat only when you are hungry), and perhaps the same logic can be applied to eat what your body wants. Your body wants healthy foods, so eat healthy foods as much as possible and perhaps then, you will be able to hear what your body wants.

When I started down the intuitive eating road, I was overcome with intense cravings for bad foods and equally overcome with feelings of guilt for eating them. I deprived myself of bad foods to avoid the guilt and shame. Perhaps it was because of that state-of-mind that the idea of not depriving myself spoke to me more clearly. Thankfully, intuitive eating alleviated my paranoia, depression and guilt about eating “bad” foods. However, this also was a turning point. I went from having an eating problem to having an eating and weight problem.

From cognitive therapy, I have learned that depriving myself of bad foods causes anxiety and anxiety causes hunger. But unlike rule 3; if my body tells me it needs chocolate, I actually have a choice. I can eat the chocolate, or I can decide to sit with the anxiety and let it pass.

Failing to eat what my body wants was one of the reasons why intuitive eating did not work for me. I focused on not depriving myself more than eating the healthy foods that my body wants. I needed to do both.


Comments
Thank you Karen, Rae Rae J and Christie Inge, HHC for your comments!

Christie: good point, I recall eating on a schedule at first to help with the hunger queues. Recently my cognitive therapist advised me to eat every three hours, which has allowed me to notice the more subtle hunger queues.
Karen: perhaps you could consider eating every three to four hours? Have you looked into how anxiety may play a role in your eating patterns?
Rae Rae J: if you aren’t wearing a watch, do you all of a sudden know when it is time to eat? Like me, you may notice the subtle signs of hunger now.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.

Quick Links
Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment

Tomorrow Rule 4 - eat until you are satisfied

Intuitive Eating Review – Eat sitting down in a calm environment

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory. Having said that, I’m now moving on to Rule 2: eat sitting down in a calm environment.

Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment

When eating, make sure you are sitting down. If you are eating (even if it is a box of Oreos) in front of the fridge or the pantry, make sure you are sitting down. And even though you are sitting down, the car does not count. Eating in the car is not allowed.

The purpose of this rule is to become a mindful eater. Geneen explains it best on her website when she explains what the title of the book When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull up a Chair.

Most of the people with whom I work "graze" at the refrigerator while standing up. They pretend they are not really eating, they just happened to pass by the fridge on their way to the phone and thought they'd check if the contents have changed since the last time they looked.

My message is: If you are going to do something, bring all your attention to it and enjoy it for all it's worth! Pleasure is good! Stop sneaking around. You wouldn't think of inviting a friend over for dinner and standing with her in front of the refrigerator picking out of Tupperware containers with your fingers--there is no reason to treat yourself that way either. Also, people eat MUCH less when they allow themselves to focus on, taste and enjoy their food

I’m not a refrigerator grazer, but I do graze the pantry: a handful of chocolate chips, animal crackers, Cracklin’ Oat Bran (when it’s around, they don’t sell it in Canada) and on occasion, I’ve even made a batch of graham cracker crust to munch on with a spoon and bowl.

Eating in the car is another story. I’ve had many binges and episodes of overeating in the car. It’s private, you have access to any food you want with minimal contact with your supplier (fast food restaurant, corner store, grocery store) and you can easily dispose of any evidence.

This was an easy enough rule to follow. I believe this rule can help anyone become a more mindful eater. However, once I left the intuitive eating support group, I no longer cared if I was standing up, sitting down or driving my car. Car eating and pantry surfing started again.

Following this rule on its own isn't going to make you an intuitive eater and not following it isn't going to break you from becoming an intuitive eater. Following (or not following) did not contribute to why intuitive eating did not work for me.

Quick link to Rule 1 - eat only when you are hungry

Tomorrow Rule 3 - eat what your body wants

Intuitive Eating Review - eat when you are hungry

With the increasing popularity of intuitive eating, I thought I’d take a closer look as to why this approach to weight management was not the answer for me. From my last post, I wrote about participating in an intuitive eating support group. I started at the end of the summer 2001, and left the group in spring 2002.

When I left the intuitive eating group therapy, deep down, I knew that my eating issues remained unresolved. I suppose I thought I had the answer and the tools I needed; I just needed the strength to follow through on the seven rules.

Until now, I never really thought about why intuitive eating did not work for me. Throughout the next several posts, I’m going to examine the seven rules of intuitive eating (according to Geneen Roth) to determine why intuitive eating did not work for me.

Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry

Intuitive eating uses a hunger scale to help you figure out when to eat and when to stop eating. (Here are a couple of links regarding hunger scales for more info: Recognizing Hunger Signals, A New Hunger Scale.)

When I was a practicing intuitive eater, I believed I always needed to wait for the hunger pangs. But from the bagel experience described in my last post, sometimes those pangs would take hours and hours to come, causing stress and anxiety. If it takes more than three hours for hunger pangs to come, I’m marching into binge potential zone. I now realize that I need to be in tune to other signs of hunger such as losing focus, diminishing patience and a growing need to eat.

Two weeks ago, I found I was hungrier during the day at work. I planned the same meals as the week before, but it didn’t seem to be enough. So, I experimented with my hunger. Was I actually hungry or was it anxiety?

The hunger came in the afternoon after lunch. I had eaten enough food to be satisfied, so I decided to sit with the hunger a bit. Surprisingly, the hunger didn’t grow; it just stayed the same, a constant rumble in my tummy. Eventually, it just went away. It was anxiety, not hunger after all. If I were hungry, it would have escalated until I was a raving lunatic on the hunt for chocolate and mini-cupcakes.

It's difficult to determine when to eat. Of course, it’s simple for some, just like breathing. But, for others, like me, hunger isn’t just hunger. Hunger can also be anxiety masquerading as hunger. And this is why rule 1: eat when you are hungry was difficult for me. I was unable to figure out when I was hungry enough to eat, but not so hungry that I would overeat.

Tomorrow the review continues with Rule 2: eat sitting down in a calm environment

Eat every three hours

I mentioned in an earlier post that in 2001, I attempted to resolve the psychological reasons for my binge eating. I participated in a support group that followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating: eat when you are hungry, eat sitting down in a calm environment, eat what your body wants, eat until you are satisfied, eat in full view of others, eat with enjoyment and eat without distractions.

At the time, I worked out at the gym before going to work and decided to buy a sesame bagel with peanut butter at the Bagel Stop for breakfast. The bagel was big, not massive, but a good size bagel. (Let me tell you, bagels are not a great choice to practice intuitive eating.) I waited, and waited and waited for hunger. I wanted a break from work the tension from not eating was becoming intolerable.

Finally, the hunger came at 2 pm. But, hold on; I can’t eat yet. I have to wait for my body queues to tell me what to eat. No food, no break in six hours. No wonder I convinced myself that my body wanted chocolate for lunch.

In 2010, my therapist observed: “I noticed that you overeat if you don’t eat for long periods of time.”

We reviewed my food journal and sure enough, a pattern became clear. Not eating for an extended period of time would trigger a binge. Typically, this occurred while running errands with the kids. Since it takes so much time to get a baby and a toddler in the car, I would leave the house shortly before lunch time.

As time passed, my hunger and anxiety level would grow. My son asks, “Mommy, can we buy mini-cupcakes?”

Hubby and my son were lucky to eat three or four; I would eat the rest by the morning.

To overcome this, she advised me to eat every three hours. It works well. When I’m at the office, I know when it’s approaching ten o’clock; the need for food rises. But I don’t get alarmed now. I know that I’m approaching the three hour mark and I need to eat my snack. After that, I’m fine until lunch.

Now that I think about it, this is another no diet dieting rule. Please click here for the updated rules..

In regard to intuitive eating, obviously eating a bagel for breakfast was a bad choice. Not eating for six hours caused stress and anxiety that I can still remember ten years later.

The Chocolate Chain of Compromise

A miracle happened at the dollar store this morning. The packages of Miniature Skor bars disappeared from the dollar store chocolate aisle. Somehow, I got out of the store without buying a substitute. I'll admit, that I thought about Junior Mints or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but I decided to resist.

My colleague and I chatted outside at lunch today. I wanted a buy a little carton of chocolate milk, but decided against it. I told her that I was going to strengthen my muscle to resist and forego the chocolate milk. After discussing the nutritional value of chocolate milk, she suggested that I indulge in a healthier alternate to chocolate milk. This made me laugh since chocolate milk is a substitute for a chocolate bar. A chocolate bar is a substitute for a package of dollar store chocolate. A package of dollar store chocolate is a substitute for grocery store chocolate and grocery store chocolate is a substitute for warehouse store chocolate. That's the chocolate chain of compromise.

Today's Task
The next task is to eat sitting down. When you try this you'll find that it's harder than you think. It's important to eat sitting so you are aware of your eating and you are visually satisfied. Just think of all the mindless eating that happens when you are standing (taste testing your cooking, sampling food at the store, snacking in the food court). This is another Geneen Roth guideline that mirrors the Beck Diet Solution. I did not do well after work on this task. Standing up, I mindlessly ate the crust from my baby's toast and sampled the fritata to ensure the temperature was just right.

A note on Previous Tasks
I've prepared a wallet size ARC (Advantage Response Card) for my wallet. My reminder system isn't working well; I'm having trouble reading the card twice daily, and I'm definetely not reading the advantages when I'm craving chocolate in the chocolate aisle.

Chapter 4: How to Use the Beck Diet Solution

There was one other time when I attempted to fix the psychological side of my eating issues. I attended a weekly group counseling sessions to overcome my emotional eating. The group counselor plugged the principles of eating only when you are hungry, and eating only what your body tells you to eat as outlined in Geneen Roth’s books, “Why Weight? A Guide to Ending Compulsive Eating” and “Breaking Free from Emotional Eating.” Great theory. Great ideas. And very difficult to implement and maintain (for me at least).

Before attending this group counseling sessions, I was very stressed/depressed and overcome with feelings of guilt for eating “bad” foods. At the time, my cravings for "bad" food was very strong. I deprived myself of these foods to avoid the inevitable guilty conscious. The new principles broke down the guilt factor. Today, I only “eat when hungry” and “eat only what your body needs” when it suits me. So now, I routinely give myself permission to indulge in chocolate, baked goodies since my guilty feelings have softened over the years.

Chapter four: How to Use the Beck Diet Solution outlines how the program works. Basically there is a new task each day for six weeks. Some tasks are a one-time event; others are completed on a regular schedule (daily/weekly). Dr. Beck also recommends a 14-day wait period before starting a diet plan to help get in the right mindset. (Yikes, how many miniature Skor bars and chocolate wafers can I eat in fourteen days?)

What I like about the Beck Diet Solution (as opposed to the eating-only-when-hungry ideology) is that it’s a process; I’ll focus on one new task or lesson per day and build from there. I’m not overwhelmed with being perfect starting from day 1. The rules for the eating-only-when-hungry were few and simple, but I found difficult to implement especially for specific situations such as food in the office kitchenette or keeping temptations at bay after watching a Dairy Queen commercial.

After completing the Beck Diet Solution, I should notice the following things:
- Diminished cravings (yay!);
- No panicking when hungry (no time to panic, I eat long before hunger hits);
- Automatically plan food to eat each day (no a fan of food planning);
- Consistently follow the plan, even on special occasions (we’ll see);
- Feel proud about turning down food instead of feeling deprived (yay!);
- Feel proud of yourself (makes sense);
Time will tell if this program works for me, but I’m hopeful and positive and will work diligently on each task. I realize that it will take longer than six weeks to change my thinking permanently; I do think that this is the beginning of the end of my weight struggles.

So how did I do today? My first thought of food came on the train to work, when I realized that I wasn’t thinking about my morning snack (food bender). I was worried that I might begin dreaming about junk food snack, but the sabotaging thoughts didn’t escalate farther than a passing thought. I even managed to buy a diet coke at the dollar store without a visit to the chocolate aisle.

It felt good to feel free from constant obsessing about food. I was scared to think about the fact that I wasn't thinking about food. I immediately tried to think of something else since I thought that I would start thinking about Reese's peanut butter cups or skor bars. I shouldn't avoid these thoughts, I need to experience them to practice controlling them. I've been eating/snacking automatically for years, so it will take time to not eat automatically.