Thursday, October 20, 2011

That's me the one with the zipper down

Damn it. I did it again. I've been walking around for two hours with my zipper down. Thankfully I put on black undies to go with my black pants this morning.

The funny thing is that this is not an isolated incident. I'm forgetting to zip up my pants all the time, usually an incident or two per week.

I'm unsure exactly when this new behaviour began, but it seems to have coincided with the pregnancy weight gain and the resulting Mommy pouch from two c-sections.

You see, since the expansion of my girth, I changed how I put on my pants. Prior to pregnancy, I would slip pants on, pull up pants, zip the zipper, and finally button the pants around the waist. Post pregnancy, I slip pants on, pull up pants, button up pants and then zip the zipper. The problem is that after 35 years of zipping first and buttoning second, it's easy to forget to zip after buttoning.

What I can't figure out is why I changed the zip/button order in the first place. I do know that this change was not a conscious decision, one day I just started buttoning first and zipping second. I suspect that this change in pant dressing procedure has something to do with my post pregnancy body shape.

Before pregnancy, my pants stayed up with the zipper zipped. Buttoning the button(s) of my pants was really a formality (and to make sure my pants stayed on when moving around and such). After pregnancy, my abdomen melted and pooled around my waist in the form of the Mommy pouch. Now, there is no way the pants will stay up without buttoning, so I need to use the buttons to hold the pants up over the bulky hips and waist area.

Ho hum. Does anyone have any suggestions for me to stop this perpetual embarrassment? Does anyone else have this problem? In any case, if you are in the Toronto area and see a woman in her late 30s walking around with her fly down, say hello, mostly likely it's me...

Previous post: Last night's chicken burger


  1. So, I wrote a blog post about this months ago, and never published it! Maybe I will now:) I feel like I tend to check my fly periodically. So maybe I caught it down once and now obsess a bit and have that reflex.

  2. That's hilarious! I'm so glad I'm not the only one walking around with her fly open! I'd love to read your blog post on the subject if you decide to publish it.

  3. Oh funny funny.

    I am a horror with clothes in public. Just the other day I had my husband help me pull off my sweater while we were walking. Yep. I was hot and sweaty and burning calories! THAT was the up side. The down side... I got mad at him because he yanked at the top underneath and I was not sure WHAT he had exposed of my jellotorso. While I was barking about his brutal yanking (it did hurt and he kanked my shoulder which is WHY I needed his help - well, I realized something was amiss. He DID NOT. I looked down in the sudden realization that I had put my bra on over my PJ top that morning. I could not lift my arm to get the top off so I just put the bra on over the top. I forgot I did that.

    My husband was SO jolly walking home. I sure got that sweater back on - all by myself thank you.

    But - I often leave the house with zippers undone, tops on inside out and different colored shoes on (I did that a few times when I worked). I am hapless.

  4. Munchberry, I'm speechless, what a clothing calamity! Funny, I'm thinking that if I stick my towel in my bra, it would be a good way to keep my expansive butt etc private with changing in the public pool changeroom. I'm like you, and can easily picture myself walking out with said towel stuck in bra...

  5. HILARIOUS!!!! Glad you are now zipped! :) Don't feel bad, happens to us all. My husband was on a business trip once, his zipper broke and he called to laugh that he was changing planes in Dallas with his fly open. When he eventually got to where he was going, his luggage didn't he learned very quickly how to stitch his own pants shut.

  6. Tape a post it to your door (on the inside) that says "check your fly" and then you'll check it before you walk out of the house :) Just make sure it's where you will SEE IT- like above the doorknob :)

    Tonight I'm posting one on the inside of our front door, to my hubby, that says "DON'T FORGET YOUR LUNCH OR YOU ARE HAVING BRUSSELS SPROUTS FOR DINNER TONIGHT."

    Think that will help? lol ;)

  7. Roz @ weightingfor50: A broken zipper would be a nightmare, especially on a business trip!

    beerab: a sticky note might work, except for when I'm at work... I suppose I could add a 'check your fly before you leave' sign in all the stalls in the ladies' room!

  8. post a sticky note on the front of your dresser to remind you. That is what i had to do because i would go the whole day before noticing my fly is wide open, plus on my pants the zipper is very long. One time i got my picture taken with it wide open and from then on i decided it was time to make sure it was ALWAYS up

    1. lol it sucks when your fly is open! i have these one pair of black shorts and the zipper is silver, so when it is open it really stands out! The other day i had these shorts on and i was going for a walk when i saw my neighbour and started talking to her..we talked for about 10 minutes before she said "your zipper is wide open and i can see your underwear." i was so embarrassed..i zipped up and ran the time i got home it was wide open again! i then came up with a plan to get a key ring,fasten it to my fly and then put it around the button. it works and my zipper hasn't opened since! wait brb..gotta zip my fly;p

  9. my zipper is always open! It gets soo embarrassing....i was on the subway the other day and i had a group of people laugh at me because my zipper was so open. i am not pregnant, just i came up with a trick..every few hours or so i kinda of sneak my pinkie down near my fly..if u get the wall ur zipped up! if there is an opening, ZIP UR PANTS! one time i gave a presentation to over 600 people with my fly wide open..u could probably imagine how embarrassed i was!

  10. i ususally forget to zip my pants every 3 to 5 times a week..i rush a lot so my fly is usually thing that i guess is kinda lucky for me is that everytime my fly has been open someone has discreetly told me to XYZ. of course my face goes red but i just zip up and keep going..everyone has forgotten to zip their pants at some point or another..espacially me the worst for that:$ the worst part is: my zippers are very long..i am talking like 5 to 6 inches long!


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