Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Feeling judged for eating grapefruit

Today it became apparent that my truly, very lovely new cube neighbour and I share a different set of boundaries.

She moved in to the cube beside mine the week of Valentine's Day. Her husband sent a massive basket of chocolate and she continually attempted to offer me chocolate with an imaginative sales pitch including referring to said chocolate as "healthy." 

After a day of continually saying "no thanks" she accepted that I won't eat her chocolate. However, today she went to the other end of the spectrum and questioned my decision to eat a late afternoon snack - a grapefruit.

"I'll be back, I'm just going to cut up my grapefruit." I said.

"I can't eat a big fruit like that," she replied.

I nod and offer an uncomfortable smile. I'm unsure what to say to this. Naturally, I can't help but to think that she is inferring that I'm eating too much; but perhaps I'm just too sensitive. I head to the kitchen to cut up my grapefruit.

Ten minutes later, I return to my desk. Before I'm finished eating my grapefruit she casually asks if I'm leaving soon. It's 4:55. My workday ends at 5 pm:

"Yes I am leaving soon."

"Then why are you eating when you will be home for dinner soon?" she replies.

Slightly miffed I say, "So I don't bonk on the commute home."

I must admit that I deleted a big long paragraph explaining why I had a snack before heading out on my hour-long commute home. But, it doesn't matter. It is none of her business why I eat food (or not). I can eat grapefruit an hour before dinner (or any food, in any amount, for any amount of time, before or after a meal because it is my decision).

Isn't it funny how some people aggressively push food one day and then pass judgement the next? How those people expect us to eat the food they offer to be polite yet be a target for judgement anytime we decide to eat food, especially if said food or timing appears inappropriate?

Yes, I'm feeling a bit cynical (and sensitive) today. Hope you had a good one!


  1. whoa! That was really uncool of her! She is probably miffed that you wouldn't take the chocolate so she is being passive aggressive. But maybe that is just me seeing it that way. LOL

  2. That is silly! I know these people and just shake my head....


  3. Kara, people like this are out to lunch, no pun intended. Why would anyone in this day and age question you eating a grapefruit. Whether you need to watch your weight or not, it doesn't take a health nut to see that was a very smart snack. Don't let people like this get you down!

  4. I once (last fall) went out to lunch with a (very over weight) friend. I got a large salad. She got a small salad and then proceeded to tell me hw she could not possibly eat that much. We went back to her house and she then proceeded to eat something like (can't remember) a large piece of cake and ice cream. I 100% kept my mouth shut.

  5. Very strange! I guess some people just don't know how to be positive...I'm running into more and more people like that, and I'm just baffled. Which makes me think I'm the one who is silly and naive for thinking that most people want only good things for others!

  6. I once shared a cube with a woman who was to become a dear friend and mentor. She was everything I wanted to be - slim, put together and confident. I watched what she ate and later, I learned - she watched what I ate. But it wasn't until much later that we discussed those days and my horrible food habits. She told me she bit her tongue because she was very upset with the amount of junk I ate. And I bit my tongue because I was concerned she wasn't eating enough. I was wrong, she was right. We were both right to keep our opinions to ourselves until we became close enough to be able to respectfully share concerns and opinions.

    My dear friend has had 3 babies since then and is back at her pre-pregancy weight. I've lost 60+ lbs and gained back around 40. I think she had the better food habits :) I'm now striving to change habits and thinking about food. But what I don't want is anyone who does not know me well to get into my business about food. It's MY business.

    I'm sorry your work colleague spoke so rudely and ignorantly. I hope you've let her inconsiderate behavior roll off your back.

  7. I'm sorry that she treated you like that. It is about her issues and not yours. Who knows - maybe someday she will follow your example!

  8. You know what I don't get? WHY anyone who is anything less than a close friend would concern themselves with what another person is eating? Beyond the who cares of it - we are not our neighbor's food police or the arbiter of healthful eating boundaries. I have trouble monitoring my OWN eating habits.

    As for the cube lady - next time tell her fruit is a very powerful aphrodisiac for you and that you try to eat it just before leaving work so you do not get in trouble. ; )


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