Saying no to a Weight Watchers membership

I'm sitting with my parents on a beautiful summer day in late August. My Mom is concerned about my weight. She's tried various approaches to motivate me to lose weight since the huge pregnancy weight gain in 2008.

Unfortunately, my Mom is not one of those people in my life I can talk to about my food issues. She thinks that if I'm not losing weight on Weight Watchers, that I must not want to lose weight. She doesn't understand that I don't want to be overweight, but dieting had become an utterly impossible task.

My Mom did not know about the sessions with a cognitive behaviour therapist until almost a year into the process. From time-to-time I pondered how (and if) I was going to tell her about therapy. Luckily, she started the conversation herself:

Mom: I'd like to pay for a Weight Watcher's membership for you.

Me: Mom, I'll never go on Weight Watcher's again.

Mom: So how will you lose weight?

Me: By eating properly; balanced, nutritious meals, with lots of fruits and vegetables. I saw a person last year to help figure out my eating issues and the reason I overeat is because of my history of dieting.

Me:  I've changed my eating habits and the good news is that my cravings have decreased significantly. I don't think about chocolate and cookies and ice cream all the time now.

Me: I'm losing weight, but it's going to be slow. It 's important that I don't feel like I'm on a diet.

I didn't go into any more details. She responded to the news well. We haven't talked about it again. Thankfully she knows not to ask how I'm doing. I'm going to show her progress rather than talk about it.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and your family...

Try eating a salad before a big meal and remember there is no point in making yourself feel guilty if you overindulge. I'm going to make the healthiest choices I can, and perhaps you can do the same!

Thinking about food all the time

I've always found it curious how people assume that just because I'm overweight that I need a lesson on how to loose weight. When discussing my weight at a recent doctor's appointment, my doctor launched into the types of foods I should be eating. Fruits, vegetables, low fat milk, lean protein... yada, yada, yada. It took every ounce of my being to not roll my eyes.

How many magazine articles and TV episodes are dedicated to losing weight again explaining the foods that I should and should not eat and the proper portion sizes? And what about people who comment on a news article or tell me that "I just need to stop shoveling food into my mouth."

Why don't these thin people /doctors / crusading TV hosts understand that the problem isn't a lack of knowledge on how to diet? As a serial dieter, I know how to lose weight: the foods to eat, the foods not to eat, and the proper portions.

I believe that thin people don't understand what it is like to have fat thinking. And on the flip side, overweight, serial dieters like myself, don't know what it is like to not think about food all the time.

Munchberry recently commented that she is baffled by Mr. Munchberry's complete lack of interest in food. For a long time, I assumed that everyone thought about food as much as I do: my friend who keeps a box of cookies on her desk; the doctors that lectures me; and TV hosts touting the latest info on loosing weight. That every waking minute of every day is a marathon struggle to not eat something. That I just didn't have as much willpower to say no to chocolate and french fries as other people. That I was weak because I couldn't stop eating.

But, the fact is not everyone thinks about food all the time. Some people can go into a gas station and abstain from buying three chocolate bars for the price of one. Some people can go into a restaurant and order a reasonably healthy meal, some people can eat a bowl of ice cream without feeling guilty, some people can eat only when hungry and stop when satisfied. Because for some people, like Mr. Munchberry, food is just not a big deal.

How much easier would it be to healthy without constantly thinking of food and battling cravings? This is essentially why I decided to seek therapy to change my eating behaviours. I thought it would be much easier to just not have cravings rather than constantly drawing on "willpower" to manage cravings. 

So the next time you read an article, watch a television show or someone tells you how to lose weight, keep in mind that it's not just about the knowledge, it's also about your thinking. Not everyone thinks the same; there are those of us who think about food all the time and some people who just don't think about food at all.

And sometimes I think to myself: how well would my thin friends eat if they had my fat thinking?

Follow up posts

• Have I learned to think like a thin person?
• How I learned to think like a thin person

Previous post - Dietary Assessment: hot water

A conversation between hubby and wife

Me: Am I looking smaller?

Hubby: Yes, you do. Do I look smaller?

Me: Actually yes you do. Have you lost weight?

Hubby: Yes, about ten pounds.

Me: Just from eating the stuff I've been asking you to make?

Hubby nods.

Me: You're not even exercising!

Hubby laughs.

Me: I was close to catching up to you.

Hubby shrugs.

I mouth to hubby: b*st*rd!

Of course, I'm happy for hubby, but errrr....