When fruit just doesn't taste good part 2

“Fruit is sweet. It’s very tasty when it is in season.” I said to my therapist. “Not like chocolate, but it’s still sweet.”

“Yes, in comparison, chocolate is much more sweet.” My therapist replies.

I consider this silently for a few moments.

“I should keep in mind that fruit at one time was considered a treat and not widely available. If I want something sweet I should reach for an apple not a cookie, because an apple is sweet and better for me.”

“Just not as sweet as chocolate, cookies or ice cream.” She reminds me.

I don’t really know why I think that at some point in history that fruit was considered an indulgence (couldn't find any articles in a Google search). But to be honest with you, telling myself that I shouldn't take fruit for granted helps me reach for fruit instead of a chocolate bar to satisfy my sweet tooth more frequently.

My fruit-eating history is uneven. As a kid, I hated eating pulpy, dry oranges or navel oranges with the weird twin fruit nub. Sometimes apples seem to cut my gums and even though grapes are great, sometimes they had yucky seeds. My Mom would be absolutely appalled if she knew how much fruit I threw out from my packed lunch.

As an adult sometimes I’d eat lots of fruit, and sometimes next to no fruit. Before therapy, fruit eating (and salad eating) went in cycles with weight loss and Weight Watcher’s memberships. On plan = eating fruit; off plan = no fruit.

Thinking back, I've always considered eating fruit an unwanted obligation rather than a source of sweet food choice. I’d quickly forget about a good fruit eating experience and dwell on the well, let’s just say the tasteless, dry bad apple. So, I suppose it’s not surprising that whenever I thought that fruit didn't taste as it should, I’d eat a cookie or a chocolate bar to make up for the lack of taste; the lack of sweetness.

So now, in the maintenance phase of therapy, I eat anywhere between two and four servings of fruit a day. If I want something sweet, I eat a piece of fruit first. Although my choice of fruit (which I mix up to avoid overeating due to boredom) doesn't always taste good as I hope, I remind myself that is OK and focus on the health benefits.

Thank you Sarah at Fat So Sarah: A Weight Loss Journey for awarding me the Liebster Blog Award! Once I figure out how to copy and paste images to posts and my blog, I'll pay it forward too!

Previous Post: When fruit just doesn't taste good

Next Post: Setting goals to increase fruit-eating

When fruit just doesn't taste good

“Don't buy peaches this week; they aren’t lasting very long and half the basket is going out to the recycling bin.”  My husband and I were discussing the weekly trip to the grocery store. The peaches were so delicious this year, dripping with juice and peachy sweet. I could have eaten them all day; with one exception, a dry, tasteless peach that left more disappointment than satisfaction.

Despite the fact that the peach growing season is coming to a close and the quality is shrinking, I decided to buy a basket of peaches. They looked delicious and thankfully, not too ripe. They should last for the remainder of the week. Unfortunately, the next morning, I was disappointed. My lovely peach was hard; my front two teeth didn't even break the skin. Immediately I knew my eating plan for the week in jeopardy.

One of the earliest discoveries in the cognitive behavior therapy sessions was realizing that if the food I eat doesn't taste good I eat additional food to make up for the lack of taste. Fruit is usually the common culprit in this scenario. But, it can also be triggered when eating new/different foods, or when a dish is prepared differently for some reason.  (This is another draw to processed food – I know what to expect, the taste and texture is always the same.)

An example: I decide to eat an orange because it’s a sweet, juicy fruit and a healthy food choice. However, instead of a juicy sweet orange, all I taste is the thick membrane, dry and tasteless pulp, and it’s overflowing with seeds. After eating the orange, anxiety-induced hunger washes over urging me to the convenience store (at work) or the pantry (at home). I’m unsatisfied, and the need for satisfaction grows. I head to Shoppers Drug Mart and buy a bag of mini Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, head back to my desk and slowly sneak chocolates for the next hour or two until the package is empty.

My therapist and I talked about this situation – the need for all food to taste good - pointed out that sometimes food is not going to taste as good. I have to keep in mind that it is just food and when the anxiety hunger comes I have to sit with it and resist the urge to eat to make up for the lack of taste. After all, another meal and another opportunity to acquire the taste satisfaction are only two to three hours away.

As for the peaches, they have ripened slightly for the past five days. I ate one while writing this post, utterly disappointed that there was no juice and only a hint of taste. But, I’m living with the disappointment and sitting with the anxiety.  My anxiety level has been up and down this week since the oranges I picked up have also been tasteless.

Apples may not be the most exciting fruit, but it is a consistent choice. It’s easy to spot the tasty from the tasteless. If only the tasty oranges, melons, peaches, pears and plums were as easy to spot.

Ho hum.

Previous Post: Back in the bike saddle

Sandy Naiman: How I got an eating disorder at 62

If you haven't had the chance, please read this healthzone.ca article, "How I got an eating disorder at 62" by Psych Central's blogger Sandy Naiman. I found many interesting points and provided answers to my EDNOS diagnosis.

Here are my thoughts from the article:

I’m 62 and 5-ft. even. I’ve been an extreme yo-yo dieter my whole life, but it’s growing harder and more oppressive every day.

Harder and more oppressive every day is how I see my own dieting journey. Losing weight and dieting became increasingly impossible, my motivation and "willpower" to succeed was slowly replaced by anxiety and disdain of deprivation.

Disordered eating is defined as any sort of irregular eating behaviour that, while not exactly healthy, doesn’t fit the characteristics required for an eating disorder diagnosis. Chances are good that you’ve observed disordered eating at some point while listening to a group of women agonize over restaurant menus.

Recently, NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) successfully pulled a Yoplait yogurt ad from the air due to the portrayal of diet negotiating language as healthy and normal. It's very common (I too, thought this was normal and healthy) but it's not healthy or normal. I blogged about the Yoplait ad here. 

"Anorexia, bulimia and what are known as “eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS)” – including binge-eating disorder – are serious, potentially fatal mental illnesses, according to a 2011 report by the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED).

Once I stopped purging twenty years ago, I was no longer bulimic, but I knew that nothing changed psychologically. But if I didn't have bulimia, what was wrong with me? It wasn't until I entered into therapy that I learned about EDNOS, and now I can at least put a name and get treatment to get out of this hell hole.

“It’s well accepted by leading researchers that eating disorders are genetically pre-disposed, tend to run in families and have nothing to do with metabolism,” Tartakovsky says.

"Your metabolism is just slow," is a common catchphrase many well-intended people would tell me. I'm glad to know that the genetic aspect of my condition has nothing to do with my metabolism.

“Furthermore, genes turn on and off all the time,” Woodside explains. “Some genetic loading may be activated by dieting – this may be the most common environmental trigger – and other loading may be activated by other factors, such as the biological changes that occur in puberty.”

Holy cow, this is me. I discovered in cognitive therapy that all of my overeating, bingeing and obsession with junk food is directly related to decades of dieting. I can recall the feelings of dred and deprivation when my synchronized swimming coach told me to lose weight at the age of 13.

In her clinical practice, Bulik has seen adults with three manifestations of eating disorders. The illnesses can: start in adolescence and persist through mid-life, start in mid-life, occur in adolescence, with a recovery period, then recur in mid-life.

I'm the first manifestation, starts in adolescence and persists through mid-life. After 23 years, I'm tired of food and weight ruling my life.

15 MAJOR TRANSITIONS THAT CAN TRIGGER A LATENT OR FIRST-TIME EATING DISORDER

Wow, I may be on the way to becoming a normal, healthy eater who is not ruled by cravings, anxiety and five wardrobes spanning various sizes, but that can come undone by a major life-event. Good to know. 

“I didn’t want to preach against obesity,” Gura said. “I wanted to move to a better place in my life, to stop struggling, to accept myself.”

Yes, I want the struggle to end.

THERE IS HOPE

When I began cognitive therapy, I had no hope that I could change but my therapist told me that there is hope. Now, I know she was right.

These disorders are obsessions. They are not choices. They’re an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, against your conscious wishes.

Obsession is how I often describe myself. Obsessed with the food I eat, obsessed with food I shouldn't eat, obsessed with my weight.

The addiction is to the behaviour of dieting, not the food, explains Woodside.

I didn't understand this statement until a friend said, "I know what makes me overeat, it's all about the carbs." That's when I understood it's not about the food (sweets, bread, french fries) it's about the behaviour that comes from dieting. If a diet tells me to limit carbs, I think about carbs, I crave carbs, I develop anxiety stemming from a fear of eating carbs, anxiety increases feelings of hunger, and I eat carbs to relieve the anxiety. It's not the carbs, it's rebelling from restricting yourself from eating carbs.

Both Bulik and Woodside say they are upset by the shortage of clinics and psychiatrists and psychologists treating eating disorders because they are misperceived as illnesses only affecting adolescent girls and young women.

In addition, do doctors recognize the more subtle signs of EDNOS in their patients? My family doctor completely dismissed me when I tried to get help a few years back telling me that, "dieting is hard for a lot of people."

The average waiting time for an assessment is now four months at Toronto General Hospital.

Wait times at clinics far from my house always deflated my resolve to get help. I went to a private cognitive behaviour therapy clinic. I called and had an appointment shortly thereafter. Expensive, but I was worth the investment.


What do you think? Does this article speak to you?

Previous post: French fries vs. the chef's salad

Avoid junk food temptations! Keep junk food out of your house!

It’s one of the most common dieting tips. Stock your refrigerator and pantry with healthy foods; clear your shelves of junk food and sugar. Remove the temptation and you will choose to (or have to) eat healthy food instead. This makes perfect sense right?

I was terrified to bring junk food such as heavenly hash ice cream, two-bite brownies or a family-sized bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs into my kitchen. Ice cream would be gone within 24 hours; my husband was lucky to get a scoop. I’d eat a small bowl or two before breakfast and any other time of day I could scoop some in a bowl and wolf it down before anyone noticed.

Yes, I need to avoid junk food temptations. Junk food was not welcome in my house.

The annual wrench in my dieting effort (aka Christmas baking) increased my dread for the holiday season. I love baking gingerbread cookies, shortbread cookies and chocolate treats for presents and hostess gifts. But, I could not handle the temptation, I would eat my way through Christmas; I was lucky if I managed to keep some shortbread for New Year’s dinner.

I was approaching the three month mark in my cognitive therapy journey when Christmas rolled around. We were hosting four events: my son’s baptism, Christmas dinner, New Year’s Eve dinner and a family dinner. I baked more cookies than in previous years.

By some sort of miracle, I had lots of cookies for all the events. To my shock, I wasn’t even interested in eating the Christmas baking. Here and there I’d have a gingerbread man or piece of shortbread. Even with all the events and handmade gifts for friends, the cookies almost lasted until February.

Then something weird happened. I was feeling anxious; the hunting and obsessing about food started again. What was going on? I had baked and stored dozens of cookies for almost a month and a half; I managed to navigate a dieting minefield with ease. The temptation was gone, so why was I feeling anxious?

“I felt a sense of loss when all the Christmas baking was gone. Somehow I was comforted by having something sweet in the house. My anxiety increased significantly.” I told my therapist. “I think I need to have something sweet in the house.”

My therapist and I discussed this discovery. For months, I repeated my mantra, “I can eat it if I really want it. I can have more, buy more and make more if I really want it.” It took time and many bowls of granola for my subconscious to actually believe it. But when there was nothing left, (no cookies, no nothing) I was back in diet land: avoid junk food temptation; keep junk food out of your house! Instead avoiding temptation, removing all junk food simply made me crave it even more.

We came up with a plan to experiment with “bad” (or restricted) foods. I did what every magazine article tells you to not do; I brought junk food back into the house. One “bad” food at a time, I brought ice cream, Oreos, brownies and mini cupcakes to see what would happen.

My anxiety level decreased; I was, in fact, comforted by having some sort of treat/sweet food in the house. I could easily ignore ice cream, chips and crackers. With super sweet stuff like Oreos, brownies and mini cupcakes, I experienced mixed results. Sometimes I would forget about the box of Oreos on my pantry shelf, other times I’d eat an entire row of cookies in one sitting.

I brought in new foods such as Nonnis’ biscotti, a tasty treat, but I didn’t covet this food like I do with Oreos.  Sweets without the dieting baggage are the perfect comfort for me. I rarely crave eating the light, crunchy cookies. And when I make the positive choice to eat a biscotti, I eat it slowly (intuitive eating style) so I can enjoy the flavor and texture.

So now I do the exact opposite of dieting convention: I always ensure that I have something sweet (like the biscotti) in my house, sharing shelf space with the healthy foods. I discovered that even if tempting foods are physically removed from my house, this physical hurdle did not quell the psychological temptation. I wanted what I couldn’t have; increasing anxiety and cravings.

Note: I’m not suggesting that you start bringing your restricted foods back into your house. I believe that you need to do what works for you. That may mean keeping the most tempting foods at the store. I had the benefit of making this discovery with help from my therapist and the cognitive behaviour therapy process.  

Next post: Do I bring Oreos and other foods with dieting baggage into my house?

Weight Watchers is too restrictive part 2

I'd like to say that for any dieter reading this, I believe that you should follow the plan (be it Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, etc.) that is working for you. Obviously, for both my friend and I, Weight Watchers no longer worked for us.

My friend's therapist did say that Weight Watchers is one of the better programs on the market. But, like all structured diets, it's still restrictive. You can eat what you want and how much you want until you run out of points.

Whenever I was on Weight Watchers (and between memberships too; can you ever really turn off the diet mentality?) I was constantly worried that I would run out of points and I would dwell on what I could and could not eat. Meal planning was difficult; trying to figure out the proper balance and appropriate amount of quality foods to fuel the body and treats stave off any feelings of deprivation.

My last successful run on Weight Watchers was in 2005 and 2006 in preparation for my wedding. I knew from the outset that the points program wasn't going to work for me. I was one of the few core plan participants.  The core plan worked for me since I could eat unlimited quantities of core foods, tracking was not required and meal planning was fairly simple.

After the birth of my first baby, I again looked to Weight Watchers to lose the baby weight. I joined the online program and selected the core program. I lasted only months. The problem with the core plan is that I could only eat core foods. Sure, I could eat non-core foods, but then I had the freakin' point-planning headache.

Have you considered the psychological ramifications of restricting yourself? Constantly telling yourself that you can't eat this, can't eat that; or don't eat too much of this, don't eat too much of that? It's human nature to want what you can't have. For decades, I told myself that I couldn't eat all sorts of food such as ice cream, chocolate, cookies and even fruit juice.

Of course, you may be thinking that you can eat anything you want in small quantities (the flexibility of the points plan allows this). This strategy may work for you, but it could have the same psychological affects on your eating as restricting the type of foods you eat.

Let's say you've figured out that you have enough points to eat half a bag of Miss. Vickies' potato chips. But you really want to eat the whole bag of chips. Your anxiety level rises; you want the whole bag of chips, a half bag is no longer enough. There is an internal battle of wills: your motivation to lose weight and will to resist versus human nature and anxiety-induced hunger.

When my dieting career began, motivation and will power easily overcame my natural need to want what I couldn't have. As my dieting-induced anxiety increased, the human nature/anxiety side began to win the battle (these internal conflicts increased in frequency).

I suspect that not all dieters have this problem. I think some dieters aren't bothered by eating smaller quantities of food and not eating other foods at all.

So, if you are on Weight Watchers or some other structured diet, here are my tips for you:

• Make a positive choice "I'm choosing to eat a peach as a snack" rather than a negative decision "No, I can't eat a bag of potato chips for snack, I have to eat this peach instead."
• Whatever choice of food you decide to eat remain positive; don't dwell on the food that you're not eating. "I can eat the bag of potato chips if I really want to, but I've made the decision to not eat it because I would like to lose weight."
• Same goes for quantity of food. If you've decided to eat a smaller portion of food, don't obsess about your decision. "I can eat more potato chips if I really want to, but I have made the choice to eat a smaller amount because I would like to lose weight." 
• If you do eat a food or an amount of food that pushes you over your food limit, don't become preoccupied with your moment of overindulgence. Forget about your splurge and start fresh; feeling badly and obsessing about a binge or an overeating episode will only increase your dieting related anxiety. "I had an oops moment. It's over, I'm moving on."  

A final thought: what if the pressure to stay within your daily and weekly points limit causes so much anxiety that it triggers binges and overeating? Why do so many dieters gain back the weight they've lost and more?

Quick Links:
Weight Watchers is too restrictive part 1

Weight Watchers is too restrictive

We met more than 11 years ago on the banks of the credit river at the Don Rowing Club. My friend has soft, curly, long, brown (occasionally blonde) hair, and a huge smile that shows off her high cheekbones.

We are both athletic in nature. We’d rather be training for a 5 or 10 K run or a rowing or dragon boating regatta than spending time on an elliptical machine in the gym. Over the years, we’ve laughed, cried and chatted about everything from boys and career plans to friends and family, to fitness and our mutual subject of obsession, weight.

Both of our waistlines have been expanding over the years. Up and down our weight has gone; through cycles of dieting and overeating; on or off Weight Watchers; training for an athletic event or lazing on the couch just talking about it. I’m a lot bigger than her (my weight gain exploded during my two pregnancies) but for both of us, traditional dieting had become increasingly difficult.

She was very interested when I talked to her about what I was learning about my eating issues in cognitive therapy. We talked about how restricting yourself on a diet damages the psychology of your eating; anxiety and how it triggers hunger; and how dieting, following the all or nothing rules, results in anxious and guilt-ridden feelings triggering binges and episodes of overeating. We talked how it made so much sense and she is one of my friends supporting my blog.

This spring, in a bid to lose weight again, she decided to register for the online Weight Watchers program. For a couple of months, she’s basically gained and lost the same 2 pounds. Finally, she talked to her therapist about it.

“Weight Watchers in too restrictive for you,” her therapist told her.

In order to change her relationship with food, she told her that she needs to want to make a change and she needs to believe in herself. Her therapist left her with a couple of to do’s: introduce off limit foods back into rotation (such as chips, chocolate and cookies) and develop self-trust by setting and completing daily tasks.

I asked her about what she meant about self-trust. Her therapist told her that she puts her trust into Weight Watchers rather than trusting herself to lose weight. I have to admit, that was a little a-ha moment for myself too, because even a year ago I would have told you that I absolutely, under no other circumstances, would I even attempt to lose weight without some sort of structured, traditional, weight loss program. There was no way I could lose weight without Weight Watchers. A year later, I’m doing it, I’m losing weight without Weight Watchers (albeit at a much slower pace) and the intense craving for junk food has decreased significantly.

So my dear friend, I think you are now well on your way to figuring out your own eating/food puzzle. I remember telling you that I sort of wished that I had lost weight on Weight Watchers and then figured out my eating issues with a cognitive therapist. But I think I would have run into the same dieting firewall as you. Dieting would be impossible, and like you, I would have gained and lost the same two pounds over and over again.

What's the big deal with the Yoplait yogurt TV ad?

A thin woman looks longingly at a large raspberry cheesecake in the refrigerator. The woman attempts to decide whether or not to eat a slice of the cheesecake:

“Oh cheesecake! What if I had just a small slice, I was good today. I deserve it!

Or I could have a medium slice and some celery sticks and they will cancel each other out. Right?

Or… Ok I could have one large slice and jog in place as I eat it.

Or…Ok. How about one large slice while jogging in place followed by eight celery slices?”

The thin woman is joined by a thinner woman who says she’s been thinking about raspberry cheesecake all day and grabs a cheesecake-flavored Yoplait yogurt. The first thin woman comments to the other thin woman that she has lost weight and also grabs a Yoplait yogurt.

Recently, NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) in the United States managed to get this ad for Yoplait yogurt pulled from the air. From some of the comments regarding this article, many people do not understand the problem with the Yoplait’s television ad.

So what is the big deal? What is wrong with this ad?

There are two issues that I have with this commercial:

1) What message does it send when Yoplait picked these thin actresses to represent their target market? Both women are thin and both these thin women were hired to play the role of women still wanting/needing to lose weight. When is thin thin enough? The media continually reinforce the idea that you can never be thin enough.

2) The first woman is trying to figure out how she can somehow eat less, eat differently and/or exercise so she can have a slice of cheesecake. Although this behavior is common, it is not normal. I frequently negotiated with myself to eat desserts (including cheesecake), movie popcorn and even an extra serving of arrowroot cookies. And showcasing this language, this behavior in a television ad only reinforces the belief that this is normal.

The second point is the reason why NEDA asked for this ad to be pulled. From NEDA’s press release: “The language in this advertising campaign was seriously problematic for those affected by eating disorders and anyone who may have a predisposition towards developing one.”

You may do this food bartering now. I think it’s safe to say that this is common practice in the dieting world (common enough for an advertising agency to develop a 30-second TV spot). Until cognitive therapy, I thought this rationalization was a normal dieting strategy. But it is not healthy or helpful in weight loss. It is just another symptom of the psychological damage of serial dieting.

A raspberry cheesecake would not cause such an obsession and turmoil in a normal eater. A normal eater would decide to have a slice or not and quickly forget about it. For others who are not normal eaters this internal debate shows the stress, anxiety and obsession that restricting oneself to eating only “good” foods, no eating an "bad" foods and eating in limited portions. And as I’ve said previously, anxiety makes you hungry, eating relieves the anxiety but perpetuates the gain/loss, anxiety/hunger cycle.

This is not to say that every person following a diet will end up with an eating disorder or has an eating disorder. Many people can forgo a slice of cheesecake and not give it another thought. Obviously, to lose weight, one will need consume fewer calories than the body burns. Eating the raspberry cheesecake flavored yogurt instead of the real thing may be a suitable compromise.

Before therapy, if I said no to the cheesecake, I would obsess about the deprivation for days. This obsession would trigger a binge; eating everything available to make up for the cheesecake. Now, I make a decision to either eat a slice or not. If I eat a slice, I’ll ensure that enjoy and savor the flavor and creamy texture. If I decide to skip the cheesecake since I'm trying to lose weight, I say no thanks and forget about it.

Sarah, thank you for bringing my attention to this story and for commenting on my SYTYCD/Gatorade post; I sent an email to NEDA and I will post when I get a response.

So what was the damage from my french fry and baked goods filled Newfoundland vacation? Shockingly I lost a quarter pound.

Next post, I will continue my review of intuitive eating...

Annoyed by Gatorade's Infomercial on SYTYCD

Excuse the interruption, but was anyone else completely annoyed by Gatorade’s infomercial on last night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance?

If you don’t watch SYTYCD, or you missed last night’s episode, Heidi Skolnik, a nutritionist from Gatorade stopped by the dancers’ apartments and swept through their kitchens like a tornado, passing judgment on their food choices with a patronizing attitude.

To the boys: “one sleeve of snack crackers has about 570 calories,” and to the girls: “did you know when you eat a sleeve of these snack crackers you can could have actually had two ice cream sundaes?” “Who is claiming this?” she says holding a box of ice cream and all the girls point towards the offending owner (can’t really tell if that is Melanie or Sasha). “Pizza with meatballs?” she questions the boys.

Heidi is representing Gatorade, so she presents the line of Gatorade G-series fit thirst quencher drinks, protein shakes and energy bite bars for before, during and after training or performing. The dancers rush to claim the Gatorade swag. The cameras capturing their approval after sampling the thirst quencher and energy bite bars.

The package ends with the contestants throwing away the condemned food. The girls gathered around the garbage bin and Ashley sadly remarking, “I need a hug.”

I wasn’t annoyed by the product placement (although hopefully it won’t escalate to the point where the choreographers incorporate Gatorade-drinking and energy-bite eating into the routines) or the G Series Fit lecture (hydration, electrolyte replacement and carb loading; all very important for athletes) and gift bag (hey – they are sponsors of the show).

I was annoyed by Heidi’s disapproving no-bad-foods-for-you, all-or-nothing attitude; planting the seeds of diet mentality paranoia to the dancers surely training (burning off the 570 calorie snack crackers and a meatball pizza in no time) and / or performing most of the day.

What happens when you are told you can’t eat something? You want the forbidden food even more. I felt as if I was watching the girls taking their first steps towards an eating disorder.

This hit close to home for me, since I have anxiety associated with “bad” food and dieting and the roots of an eating disorder began when I was an elite athlete in competitive synchronized swimming.

I can only hope that the finger-wagging from Cat, the junk food inquisition along with a teary farewell around the garbage bin was put on for dramatic effect. That, in reality, Heidi emphasized the importance of choosing healthy foods as much as possible, offer healthy options for those with a taste for junk and remind them that they can have a bowl of ice cream if they really want it.

And for good measure, perhaps next year Gatorade can throw in a sports psychologist too.

Intuitive Eating Review - Eat what your body wants

Rule 3: Eat what your body wants

In my opinion, eat what your body wants is the heart of intuitive eating. No food is off limits, no food is forbidden, no food is bad. The idea is that if you listen to your body and your body will tell you what it needs to eat. However, your body doesn’t want junk food; it wants healthy food to work properly, efficiently and to provide energy.

Again, Geneen explains it best when answering a question from Janet:

As you are discovering, your mind likes chocolate! But that doesn't mean eating chocolate when you are hungry feels good in your body. And there's the real distinction: Your mind will go on and on all day long about what delicious, fabulous-tasting thing it would like next, but your body wants to feel good. Your body wants to have energy. Your body wants to feel awake and alive and able to do what it needs to do to provide you with what you need to do what you love. So, next time your mind says, "Gimme pasta and chocolate," say, "Uh-huh, I hear you, mind. I hear that if it weren't for this teeny thing called a body, we could eat chocolate all day long. So, thanks for sharing. Now I am going to ask my body what it wants." And then, Janet, ask your body what would give it the most energy. Ask your body what would feel good in it. Not what would be the most exciting thing to eat. Not what would thrill you, but what would sustain you, awaken you, make you feel satisfied and well-nourished. See what happens.

I’m Janet. Ok, I’m not Janet, but I’m like Janet. After waiting for hunger signals and body queues, I told myself I required chocolate for lunch, even for breakfast. Sometimes it came to me very clearly, like an out-of-the-blue overwhelming need for a glass of milk. But, most times, I kept waiting for an answer, but nothing came.

The other purpose of this rule is to address deprivation. If your body is telling you to eat something (even if it is unhealthy) just have it. The dieting mentality tells you that chocolate milk is bad for you; drink skim milk instead. So, you drink skim milk. But you still want chocolate milk. So you eat a chocolate chip cookie. Hmmm, this tastes good. You eat another few chocolate chip cookies. You know what goes well with chocolate chip cookies? Chocolate milk. You finally drink the chocolate milk. You can see why you would have been better off drinking the chocolate milk in the first place.

My problem with rule 3, is the same issue with rule 1; it’s difficult to know what your body wants and make it practical for everyday use. Christie Inge, HHC, an intuitive eating counselor, suggested to eat every three to four hours to recognize the hunger signals (in reference to my post on eat only when you are hungry), and perhaps the same logic can be applied to eat what your body wants. Your body wants healthy foods, so eat healthy foods as much as possible and perhaps then, you will be able to hear what your body wants.

When I started down the intuitive eating road, I was overcome with intense cravings for bad foods and equally overcome with feelings of guilt for eating them. I deprived myself of bad foods to avoid the guilt and shame. Perhaps it was because of that state-of-mind that the idea of not depriving myself spoke to me more clearly. Thankfully, intuitive eating alleviated my paranoia, depression and guilt about eating “bad” foods. However, this also was a turning point. I went from having an eating problem to having an eating and weight problem.

From cognitive therapy, I have learned that depriving myself of bad foods causes anxiety and anxiety causes hunger. But unlike rule 3; if my body tells me it needs chocolate, I actually have a choice. I can eat the chocolate, or I can decide to sit with the anxiety and let it pass.

Failing to eat what my body wants was one of the reasons why intuitive eating did not work for me. I focused on not depriving myself more than eating the healthy foods that my body wants. I needed to do both.


Comments
Thank you Karen, Rae Rae J and Christie Inge, HHC for your comments!

Christie: good point, I recall eating on a schedule at first to help with the hunger queues. Recently my cognitive therapist advised me to eat every three hours, which has allowed me to notice the more subtle hunger queues.
Karen: perhaps you could consider eating every three to four hours? Have you looked into how anxiety may play a role in your eating patterns?
Rae Rae J: if you aren’t wearing a watch, do you all of a sudden know when it is time to eat? Like me, you may notice the subtle signs of hunger now.

Disclaimer: I should tell you that I no longer have my copies of Geneen Roth’s earlier books on intuitive eating, Why Weight? A guide to Ending Compulsive Eating and Breaking Free from Emotional Eating and I have not read her popular, Oprah-endorsed book, Women Food and God. I haven’t picked up new copies to recall the finer points of each rule. My analysis is based strictly on my memory from 2001/2001 when I participated in an intuitive eating support group in an attempt to resolve my eating issues. In this particular group, we followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating.

Quick Links
Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry
Rule 2: Eat sitting down in a calm environment

Tomorrow Rule 4 - eat until you are satisfied

Intuitive Eating Review - eat when you are hungry

With the increasing popularity of intuitive eating, I thought I’d take a closer look as to why this approach to weight management was not the answer for me. From my last post, I wrote about participating in an intuitive eating support group. I started at the end of the summer 2001, and left the group in spring 2002.

When I left the intuitive eating group therapy, deep down, I knew that my eating issues remained unresolved. I suppose I thought I had the answer and the tools I needed; I just needed the strength to follow through on the seven rules.

Until now, I never really thought about why intuitive eating did not work for me. Throughout the next several posts, I’m going to examine the seven rules of intuitive eating (according to Geneen Roth) to determine why intuitive eating did not work for me.

Rule 1: Eat when you are hungry

Intuitive eating uses a hunger scale to help you figure out when to eat and when to stop eating. (Here are a couple of links regarding hunger scales for more info: Recognizing Hunger Signals, A New Hunger Scale.)

When I was a practicing intuitive eater, I believed I always needed to wait for the hunger pangs. But from the bagel experience described in my last post, sometimes those pangs would take hours and hours to come, causing stress and anxiety. If it takes more than three hours for hunger pangs to come, I’m marching into binge potential zone. I now realize that I need to be in tune to other signs of hunger such as losing focus, diminishing patience and a growing need to eat.

Two weeks ago, I found I was hungrier during the day at work. I planned the same meals as the week before, but it didn’t seem to be enough. So, I experimented with my hunger. Was I actually hungry or was it anxiety?

The hunger came in the afternoon after lunch. I had eaten enough food to be satisfied, so I decided to sit with the hunger a bit. Surprisingly, the hunger didn’t grow; it just stayed the same, a constant rumble in my tummy. Eventually, it just went away. It was anxiety, not hunger after all. If I were hungry, it would have escalated until I was a raving lunatic on the hunt for chocolate and mini-cupcakes.

It's difficult to determine when to eat. Of course, it’s simple for some, just like breathing. But, for others, like me, hunger isn’t just hunger. Hunger can also be anxiety masquerading as hunger. And this is why rule 1: eat when you are hungry was difficult for me. I was unable to figure out when I was hungry enough to eat, but not so hungry that I would overeat.

Tomorrow the review continues with Rule 2: eat sitting down in a calm environment

Eat every three hours

I mentioned in an earlier post that in 2001, I attempted to resolve the psychological reasons for my binge eating. I participated in a support group that followed Geneen Roth’s seven guidelines for intuitive eating: eat when you are hungry, eat sitting down in a calm environment, eat what your body wants, eat until you are satisfied, eat in full view of others, eat with enjoyment and eat without distractions.

At the time, I worked out at the gym before going to work and decided to buy a sesame bagel with peanut butter at the Bagel Stop for breakfast. The bagel was big, not massive, but a good size bagel. (Let me tell you, bagels are not a great choice to practice intuitive eating.) I waited, and waited and waited for hunger. I wanted a break from work the tension from not eating was becoming intolerable.

Finally, the hunger came at 2 pm. But, hold on; I can’t eat yet. I have to wait for my body queues to tell me what to eat. No food, no break in six hours. No wonder I convinced myself that my body wanted chocolate for lunch.

In 2010, my therapist observed: “I noticed that you overeat if you don’t eat for long periods of time.”

We reviewed my food journal and sure enough, a pattern became clear. Not eating for an extended period of time would trigger a binge. Typically, this occurred while running errands with the kids. Since it takes so much time to get a baby and a toddler in the car, I would leave the house shortly before lunch time.

As time passed, my hunger and anxiety level would grow. My son asks, “Mommy, can we buy mini-cupcakes?”

Hubby and my son were lucky to eat three or four; I would eat the rest by the morning.

To overcome this, she advised me to eat every three hours. It works well. When I’m at the office, I know when it’s approaching ten o’clock; the need for food rises. But I don’t get alarmed now. I know that I’m approaching the three hour mark and I need to eat my snack. After that, I’m fine until lunch.

Now that I think about it, this is another no diet dieting rule. Please click here for the updated rules..

In regard to intuitive eating, obviously eating a bagel for breakfast was a bad choice. Not eating for six hours caused stress and anxiety that I can still remember ten years later.

The problem with bad foods

Eat normally, snack horribly.

For years I’ve known that I eat proper meals (balanced meal of protein, bread and vegetables), but I snack horribly. After reviewing a weeks’ worth of my eating patterns, my therapist agreed that I ate well balanced, normal meals, three times a day (thanks Mom for implanting this into my DNA). However, I also experienced both objective and subjective eating.

In basic terms, objective eating is eating a large quantity of food (example: eating a box of granola) and subjective eating is when you perceive yourself as eating a large quantity of food (example: eating two bowls of granola). Both types of eating are accompanied by feelings of loss of control.

I know I’m not the only one with a list of good and bad foods. The problem with labelling food as "bad" is that is human nature to want the something you can’t have. So a perfectly natural reaction to a bad food is to want it even more, developing wicked cravings. Over the years, cravings for bad food increased and my ability to resist those temptations decreased.

I couldn’t win: resist bad foods and I’d crave it more. Giving in to bad foods and I’d have feelings of guilt and shame: guilt for eating a bad food and shame that I was not strong enough, or in control enough to resist. No matter what I was doing, resisting or giving in to a bad food, my anxiety level increased. Anxiety makes you hungry; making it even more difficult to resist and perpetuating an endless cycle.

Limiting myself to a small portion perpetuates the same problem (say no to more, you want more even more). Wanting more but denying more increased cravings resulting in more anxiety and hunger.

I now tell myself:

• I can eat it if I really want to.
• I can have/buy/make more if I really need it.

Over time, knowing this and practicing this helped to decrease my obsession and cravings. Looking back, I estimate that this process took approximately three months, six therapy sessions and countless assurances from my therapist that eating bad foods or any foods in certain quantities of food was not as bad as I thought (such as a eating a whole box of Kraft Dinner)for my cravings to decrease.

In practice, if I decided that I really needed more (let’s say another bowl of granola), I would try to delay or distract myself with some other type of activity before consuming another bowl of granola.

 

Eat whatever you want?

“Eat whatever you want. No foods are restricted and you can have as much as you want.”

My heart sank when my therapist said this to me. I assumed that at some point after therapy that I would be able to go back to Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig and lose my weight. After all, chapter 5 of the Beck Diet Solution is called, “Pick Two Reasonable Diets.” I figured face-to-face therapy would work the same way.

Immediately I considered amending my original plan (step 1: reprogram thinking; step 2: lose weight) to (step 1: lose weight; step 2: reprogram thinking). The only problem is that dieting had become an impossible task. Every minute of a dieting day is difficult and angst-ridden. I had been down this road before with intuitive eating and frankly the idea of no structure scared the hell out of me.

And then she added: “But, you must write down what you want to eat first.” Well, I thought. At least there is some sort of structure.

Here were my guidelines:

• Prepare a meal plan for the day.

• Include details such as portion size and number of helpings.

• No foods are off-limits as long as I write it down in the meal plan first.

• If I want to eat something that is not in the meal plan, I had to plan that food or additional helping into a future meal.

• Plan my meals the day before, or any time during the day.

I already found meal planning and journaling difficult, so my first week was challenging. Even though I could plan to eat whatever I wanted, I remained paralysed from making food choices. So, with the help of my therapist, we planned a few days of meals together. I allowed for reasonable portion sizes and planned for a good mix of healthy and not-as-healthy snacks and balanced meals.

As for following my own meal plan, it went fairly well. Sometimes I found that I wanted an additional helping of something (let’s say granola) that was not planned for. The need for more granola would grow, and become focused; the only way to satisfy this need was to give in and eat the additional helping of granola. That is when I learned that the need, the feeling I was experiencing was anxiety. Anxiety from 20 years of dieting telling me that granola is bad for me. That I shouldn’t be eating one bowl of granola, let alone two or three bowls.

I asked my therapist: “What do I do to handle the anxiety? How do I make it go away?”
 
She replied: “You have to learn to sit with it. It will pass.”

Anxiety: the weight loss saboteur

Souvlaki on Monday. Roast Chicken on Tuesday. Baked Fish on Wednesday. Frittata on Thursday. Chicken Pizza on Friday.

Hubbie and I sit at the dining room table planning out the menu for the work week. For most families, this is a one person job. I, however, am unable to plan meals without assistance. My thoughts are paralysed when it comes to food. I have such a hard time making a decision about what to eat. It’s even worse if I have to make a spur of the moment decision.

This food is unhealthy. This food is too healthy. I can only have a little bit of this food. This food doesn’t satisfy me emotionally. This food is only for special occasions. I don’t like how this food tastes. This food tastes too good and I may eat all of it.

With all the diet speak and rebel against the diet speak floating around in my head; you can see why I have a tough time with meal planning.

Through therapy, I discovered that I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to food. This comes from 20 years of flipping between diet mode and planning to diet mode. You may be familiar with planning to diet mode: eating big helpings of all those off-limit foods because you will no longer be able to eat said foods once you go into portion-controlled, restricting-your-food diet mode again.

The problem with anxiety is that it makes you hungry. I suspect that many people like me do not like feeling anxiety and eat to make it go away. To tackle anxiety, I had to learn (and believe) the following:

• I can eat it if I really want it. (But, I will try to delay or distract myself before having another helping.)
• I can have more/buy more/make more if I need it.
• I'm feeling the anxiety because I think I must limit myself.
• I must learn to sit with the anxiety. It will pass.