Weight watching in gain mode

Karen @ Waisting Time wrote how the numbers on the scale affects how she feels depending on the direction the number is going (going down feel great, going up feels fat). I was reading the comments from her post (Karen's warped theory of relativity) and could completely relate to Muchberry's comment, "I travel to the land without scales when I gain weight" because I too avoid the scale when I'm in gain mode.

But then I remembered that is not entirely true. I'm at the heaviest weight in my life and I witnessed the pounds piling on and the numbers on the scale going up; weigh in after weigh in.

Of course, I would have happily avoided the scale, but unfortunately when one is pregnant, one's doctor weighs you. I was nervous for my first appointment, I had not weighed myself in a year so I knew the number was going to be a shock. Shock it was, I gained 30 pounds in a year (after a year of restricting, I followed up with a year of overeating).

Considering how the hunger hit like a cement truck in the first trimester, I was pleasantly surprised that the weight gain in the second appointment a couple of months later was only two pounds. But after that, the scale indicator didn't stop moving to the right. I even managed a five pound gain in one week. The nurse was positive it was an error (that can't be right) and weighed me again (wow, that is not a mistake).

Not all the weight was a true gain. I was trying to finish some stuff before the baby arrived; complete another class in the magazine publishing certificate program, finish upholstering a pair of club chairs in a re-upholstery workshop plus we were implementing a new online application at work which meant 12 to 14 hour workdays and overtime on weekends. Apparently it is important to put your feet up as much as possible, I retained a boatload of fluids: the swelling in my legs came to my my knees, I was unable to sleep properly during the third trimester and the water in my arms induced carpal tunnel syndrome so I wore wrist guards all day and all night.

The weird thing was that with all that weight gain, my senses dulled to the perpetually increasing number. I was thankful when the gain was limited to one or two pounds and downright delighted on the single occasion that there was no weight gain. But it was impossible to comprehend what I was seeing on the scale, I dismissed it by telling myself that I'd lose it after I was finished having children.

Now here I am, two little boys later and 75 pounds heavier than what I weighed on my wedding day five years ago. In stark contrast to the time that I put on this weight, I'm acutely aware of every pound that I lose and have yet to lose.

I'm kicking myself for not getting help for this eating disorder before I got pregnant - well, sort of - the important point is that I did get help.

Did you gain your weight slowly over many years or did you gain your weight quickly?

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That's me the one with the zipper down

Damn it. I did it again. I've been walking around for two hours with my zipper down. Thankfully I put on black undies to go with my black pants this morning.


The funny thing is that this is not an isolated incident. I'm forgetting to zip up my pants all the time, usually an incident or two per week.


I'm unsure exactly when this new behaviour began, but it seems to have coincided with the pregnancy weight gain and the resulting Mommy pouch from two c-sections.


You see, since the expansion of my girth, I changed how I put on my pants. Prior to pregnancy, I would slip pants on, pull up pants, zip the zipper, and finally button the pants around the waist. Post pregnancy, I slip pants on, pull up pants, button up pants and then zip the zipper. The problem is that after 35 years of zipping first and buttoning second, it's easy to forget to zip after buttoning.


What I can't figure out is why I changed the zip/button order in the first place. I do know that this change was not a conscious decision, one day I just started buttoning first and zipping second. I suspect that this change in pant dressing procedure has something to do with my post pregnancy body shape.


Before pregnancy, my pants stayed up with the zipper zipped. Buttoning the button(s) of my pants was really a formality (and to make sure my pants stayed on when moving around and such). After pregnancy, my abdomen melted and pooled around my waist in the form of the Mommy pouch. Now, there is no way the pants will stay up without buttoning, so I need to use the buttons to hold the pants up over the bulky hips and waist area.


Ho hum. Does anyone have any suggestions for me to stop this perpetual embarrassment? Does anyone else have this problem? In any case, if you are in the Toronto area and see a woman in her late 30s walking around with her fly down, say hello, mostly likely it's me...


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